Dante Takes Manhattan

so this current tour has been quite the challenge. Believe it or not there is a limit to how much fun you can have. I'm in the back of van somewhere in central Pennsylvania and I'm sick as a dog. Could it be allergies, maybe a cold, you know the weather is turning. My money is on that I have been up for about 8 days laughing my ass off and drinking obscene amounts of everything.

Rolled into New York with the Hacienda dudes at about 2 in the morning on Oct 18th. Frank and I made a b-line for the city and never looked back. As I mentioned before. There was quite the gang from South Texas that made the trip to the big apple. I've done the New York run now about a dozen times, so I thought I'd hand out some pointers on how to do Manhattan correctly (or incorrectly, depending on your threshold for hi jinx).

New Yorkers get a bad rap for being cold. Heres how to warm them up. Dont stay across the bridge in Jersey. The commute will wreck you. We found a friend with a place in the city and that saved the day. First things first, have a mexican girl wearing sunglasses with you at all times, even if your indoors. People are a lot nicer to you if a chick is by your side. Second, never make plans. You'll break em everytime. Cabs take long, the subway has a wait. Your gonna be late, once you've accepted tardiness as a way of life, just pop into a bar and have a beer about it. If you're in a band do not pander to the audience. They dont like you anyway. Most of them are just there to be cool and talk shit to their friends. Saying shit like, "Go Yankees!" never friggin works. Play your tunes, shut the fuck up, and get the fuck out. They'll respect you for it. Last, the city is crawling with girls, so stay away from hookers. There mostly dudes, anyway, and remember, if you brought that mexican girl with you, chicks will dig you more. Other than that, bars close at 4, get a hot dog from Criff Dog's in the village, and when shady characters say "hey man, can I ask you something" at about 4:30am just keep walking. Do central park, but please dont bring a guitar and you'll do fine. It aint exactly how the muppets did it, but it worked for me.